Joe Ryder, (a)g

NPR today on the radio show Here and Now featured a security watchdog company’s executive discussing the security risks of Facebook and considering the state of Facebook after news that Zuckerberg’s baby hit 500 million users, a milestone that surely heightened the joys of advertisers.

However, there should be some concern for this number. Unlike a door counter at a public event location, Facebook has an “account” counter, and may not consider the recent influx of fake profiles, duplicate profiles and old profiles that were not used for the last year or more (a more controversial status that tends to imply that the person is not technically a current user). To sat that you have 500 million accounts is different than saying you have 500 million active accounts.

MySpace is no different, though their security fiascos in recent years make them more likely to claim many more active users that turn out to be bot scripts rather than real people. How many hot and horny women have web cams to see in my local area? The MySpace populous claims to have thousands, though I have never seen them pass by in the local Safeway looking for lube and toothpaste.

This possible fallacy in the milestone claim may not be enough to deter advertisers or the population general. Even if a whopping 25% of that figure is false user counts, that leaves a 375 million user market for goods and services to target. That is 68 million more people on Fb than the entire population from infant to 100+ survivalist in the United States (source: 2009, US Census, Population Division). Making a complaint about false numbers is like throwing a really heavy rock in the center of a lake hoping it will drain into the earth’s crust.

This morning I was fuming about the crappy, low-wage job I’ve had to take because of this dismal economy. I work way to many hours, have become the person who gets the brunt of the work that my coworkers don’t want to do, and though there are always claims of advancement it seems like the opportunity is 8 months or more away (I know that last one is a whine but I was expecting advancement in a couple months). I’m making less now per hour than I have in six years, and that crap-paying job I had six years ago was, like my current one, retail.

A stop on my daily deliveries took me to Lloyd Center in Portland to one of the offices there on the third floor. I had to park in the loading zone and take the freight elevator up. This was a return of merchandise that I had delivered yesterday, and I had remarked to my coworker that my grandfather was a maintenance supervisor at Meier and Frank back in the day. I remember being young, 6 to 8 years old, riding the freight elevator to find my grandpa, only to find him stomping around because someone messed up something. He did the same when he worked at Montgomery Ward at their main facility in downtown Portland.

Riding the elevator again today, I started thinking how fascinated I was that he knew things about electrical systems. Threads of my life started making sense, how I was always interested in mechanics, how I could learn computer systems quickly, how it didn’t take me very long to figure out how to work on cars I’ve owned. Even now, I’ve enjoyed my job at times when I’m the one hooking appliances or electronics up for customers. My dad knew a thing or two about house maintenance and cars, always saying his dad taught him what he knew.

On my way back down, merchandise in tow, I thought how much I appreciated him being that kind of influence in my life. In those little ways, I hoped I was making that kind of impact on my own kids.

At around 6:00 pm this evening, my grandpa passed away from a sudden heart attack while hospitalized at St. Vincent Medical Center in Portland for complications of high stage heart failure and pneumonia. They were going to send him home in a couple days. My mom said something about him grabbing at my grandma’s ass and being a little devil while she was visiting him. No one saw this coming yet.

He leaves a wife, two kids, six grandchildren and a milti-million-dollar marina and RV business behind. The family will take over the operations of the business, and after my grandma gets done “crying and throwing things,” as she said she was going to do, she’ll be the focus of comfort for a while.

I’m hoping at some point he knew I was admiring him before he left this earth. I hope someone up there makes a note of it in case he needs a reminder. When heaven keeps you, I hope there are reruns of your life. And I hope he sees that I’m aspiring to be the stubborn, headstrong old man I always admired.

Love you, Grandpa. I guess heaven needs a maintenance guy.

Yes, I have had financial assistance from the state of Washington. I’m a libertarian, yes, but like the flag says in its stitching: “If some idiot decides to throw money at you for no other reason than your socioeconomic status, take the money and run or be forever laughed at by the poor.” Or something like that. I can’t use microscopes due to an inner ear problem that involves winking.

I just ran across a letter my wife received from DSHS stating the following, not edited in any way:

According to our records, you have not used any of the benefits in your EBT (Electronic Benefits Transfer) account for 60 days.

You still have $1.84 in your cash account.

If you do not use the benefits in your EBT account in the next 300 days, your benefits will be canceled. If this happens, you may be able to get some benefits back. Please call me if you have any questions about this letter, need help using your EBT card or need a new card.

No, I am not making this up.

So evidently, I have approximately 10 months to buy 18 packs of ramen noodles at one of the two convenient Walmart Supercenters in Vancouver or the state will revoke that privilege. The author of this letter even suggests that I came to this remaining balance either because I don’t know how to use my card therefore needing the assistance of other people as I spent the other several hundred dollars that was spent on that card within a day of getting the benefit, or I lost my card and desperately need to know how to obtain a new one so I can finally purchase a case of paperclips at the Dollar Tree. Hell with ramen noodles; I got food stamps for that.

Not only that but the person doesn’t include any contact information. Not even his or her name. But he or she still asks me to call them to discuss the letter. I assume this is because he or she decided that if I really did call it would be to ask their name and then laugh hysterically.

Washington state has been mentioned as having the most advanced computer system of most other states in the union. Somehow, the fact of millions of dollars of software and hardware being run by nickel-and-dime educations doesn’t make me any more proud that Kristine Gregoire decided not to run for Solicitor General so she can “keep her promise to the people of her state.”

Oh wait, I have a useless letter to dry my tears.